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Top Ten Reasons UncleJoe Wanted Sammy To Start The Next Top Ten

10. He's had a wicked dump building up for about two hours now.

9. I drank my ice-cold power drink too fast and got a brain freeze.

8. Because Sammy could even make dismembered orphans seem funny.

7. Unwarranted Optimism.

6. He wanted to jinx the State of Florida to help out his beloved Fillies.

5. The mushrooms just kicked in.

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Top Ten Reasons UncleJoe Wanted Sammy To Start The Next Top Ten

10. He's had a wicked dump building up for about two hours now.

9. I drank my ice-cold power drink too fast and got a brain freeze.

8. Because Sammy could even make dismembered orphans seem funny.

7. Unwarranted Optimism.

6. He wanted to jinx the State of Florida to help out his beloved Fillies.

5. The mushrooms just kicked in.

4. A nod to the genius of the Samster's creativity is never inappropriate.

3.

2.

1.

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Top Ten Reasons UncleJoe Wanted Sammy To Start The Next Top Ten

10. He's had a wicked dump building up for about two hours now.

9. I drank my ice-cold power drink too fast and got a brain freeze.

8. Because Sammy could even make dismembered orphans seem funny.

7. Unwarranted Optimism.

6. He wanted to jinx the State of Florida to help out his beloved Fillies.

5. The mushrooms just kicked in.

4. A nod to the genius of the Samster's creativity is never inappropriate.

3. Joe's hands were too shaky after downing that ELEVENTH cup of coffee.

2.

1.

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Top Ten Reasons UncleJoe Wanted Sammy To Start The Next Top Ten

10. He's had a wicked dump building up for about two hours now.

9. I drank my ice-cold power drink too fast and got a brain freeze.

8. Because Sammy could even make dismembered orphans seem funny.

7. Unwarranted Optimism.

6. He wanted to jinx the State of Florida to help out his beloved Fillies.

5. The mushrooms just kicked in.

4. A nod to the genius of the Samster's creativity is never inappropriate.

3. Joe's hands were too shaky after downing that ELEVENTH cup of coffee.

2. Turned into a Bot by a code cracker.

1.

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Top Ten Reasons UncleJoe Wanted Sammy To Start The Next Top Ten

10. He's had a wicked dump building up for about two hours now.

9. I drank my ice-cold power drink too fast and got a brain freeze.

8. Because Sammy could even make dismembered orphans seem funny.

7. Unwarranted Optimism.

6. He wanted to jinx the State of Florida to help out his beloved Fillies.

5. The mushrooms just kicked in.

4. A nod to the genius of the Samster's creativity is never inappropriate.

3. Joe's hands were too shaky after downing that ELEVENTH cup of coffee.

2. Turned into a Bot by a code cracker.

1. He was recovering from his previous pr0n download.

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Top 10 things about the past that was better than today.

10. Gas prices were a lot cheaper.

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Top 10 things about the past that was better than today.

10. Gas prices were a lot cheaper.

9. There was no such thing as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays

8. There was less history to have to learn.

7. We were all younger

6. "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."

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4.

3.

2.

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Top 10 things about the past that was better than today.

10. Gas prices were a lot cheaper.

9. There was no such thing as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays

8. There was less history to have to learn.

7. We were all younger

6. "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."

5. The music.

4.

3.

2.

1.

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Top 10 things about the past that was better than today.

10. Gas prices were a lot cheaper.

9. There was no such thing as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays

8. There was less history to have to learn.

7. We were all younger

6. "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."

5. The music.

4. The cars of the '50s & '60s were better than the ones today.

3.

2.

1.

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Top 10 things about the past that was better than today.

10. Gas prices were a lot cheaper.

9. There was no such thing as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays

8. There was less history to have to learn.

7. We were all younger

6. "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."

5. The music.

4. The cars of the '50s & '60s were better than the ones today.

3. Human lives seemed a bit more precious

2.

1.

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Top 10 things about the past that was better than today.

10. Gas prices were a lot cheaper.

9. There was no such thing as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays

8. There was less history to have to learn.

7. We were all younger

6. "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."

5. The music.

4. The cars of the '50s & '60s were better than the ones today.

3. Human lives seemed a bit more precious

2. Cell phones weren't stuck up 85.5% of peoples' butts.

1.

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Top 10 things about the past that was better than today.

10. Gas prices were a lot cheaper.

9. There was no such thing as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays

8. There was less history to have to learn.

7. We were all younger

6. "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."

5. The music.

4. The cars of the '50s & '60s were better than the ones today.

3. Human lives seemed a bit more precious

2. Cell phones weren't stuck up 85.5% of peoples' butts.

1. You could flatten a quarterback or high-stick a defenseman without ever having to worry about going to jail.

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Top Ten Things That Should Be Banned Forever

10. Flavored vodkas

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Top Ten Things That Should Be Banned Forever

10. Flavored vodkas

9. Shoot-outs to decide NHL games.

8. 2 year long presidential campaigns

7. Softcore porn

6. texting whilst driving a motorized vehicle.

5. Talking on a cell phone and doing Anything else.

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3.

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Top Ten Things That Should Be Banned Forever

10. Flavored vodkas

9. Shoot-outs to decide NHL games.

8. 2 year long presidential campaigns

7. Softcore porn

6. texting whilst driving a motorized vehicle.

5. Talking on a cell phone and doing Anything else.

4. Anchovies

3. "Cigars!" "Cigarettes!"

2.

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Top Ten Things That Should Be Banned Forever

3. "Cigars!"

At a formal dinner table, upon completion of the meal, Winston Churchill sat back and lit up a big cigar, as was his custom. The guest sitting next to him indignantly eyed the burning stogie and commented, "Sir, if you were my husband, I would ask for a divorce!" After a long pull on the cigar, Winston looked to her and replied, "Madam, if you were my wife, I would consent."

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