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Posted

Top Ten Activities During The Slowest 3 Weeks In Sports

10. Pretend your driveway is your pit stall for the Daytona 500.

9. Have sex with the chick three times. That should shut her up all the way through March Madness.

8. Two words: Corn Hole

7. Watching the snow melt while reading a good book.

6. Count the days until opening day of baseball season (which, as of today, is 49).

5. Watching pitchers and catchers report in the Cactus League.

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Posted

Top Ten Activities During The Slowest 3 Weeks In Sports

10. Pretend your driveway is your pit stall for the Daytona 500.

9. Have sex with the chick three times. That should shut her up all the way through March Madness.

8. Two words: Corn Hole

7. Watching the snow melt while reading a good book.

6. Count the days until opening day of baseball season (which, as of today, is 49).

5. Watching pitchers and catchers report in the Cactus League.

4. Watch the Olympics.

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Posted

Top Ten Activities During The Slowest 3 Weeks In Sports

10. Pretend your driveway is your pit stall for the Daytona 500.

9. Have sex with the chick three times. That should shut her up all the way through March Madness.

8. Two words: Corn Hole

7. Watching the snow melt while reading a good book.

6. Count the days until opening day of baseball season (which, as of today, is 49).

5. Watching pitchers and catchers report in the Cactus League.

4. Watch the Olympics.

3. Count the days until opening day of baseball season (which, as of today, is 47).

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Posted

Top Ten Activities During The Slowest 3 Weeks In Sports

10. Pretend your driveway is your pit stall for the Daytona 500.

9. Have sex with the chick three times. That should shut her up all the way through March Madness.

8. Two words: Corn Hole

7. Watching the snow melt while reading a good book.

6. Count the days until opening day of baseball season (which, as of today, is 49).

5. Watching pitchers and catchers report in the Cactus League.

4. Watch the Olympics.

3. Count the days until opening day of baseball season (which, as of today, is 47).

2. Count the days until the beginning of Masters Week at Augusta (which, as of today, is 48).

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Posted

Top Ten Activities During The Slowest 3 Weeks In Sports

10. Pretend your driveway is your pit stall for the Daytona 500.

9. Have sex with the chick three times. That should shut her up all the way through March Madness.

8. Two words: Corn Hole

7. Watching the snow melt while reading a good book.

6. Count the days until opening day of baseball season (which, as of today, is 49).

5. Watching pitchers and catchers report in the Cactus League.

4. Watch the Olympics.

3. Count the days until opening day of baseball season (which, as of today, is 47).

2. Count the days until the beginning of Masters Week at Augusta (which, as of today, is 48).

1. Take a partial interest in the NBA or NHL and see how close playoff contenders are fairing.

Posted

Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Doing Anything For Valentine's Day

10. I took 2 Prozac in addition to my ex-lax. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel pretty good about it.

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Posted

Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Doing Anything For Valentine's Day

10. I took 2 Prozac in addition to my ex-lax. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel pretty good about it.

9. "I'd like to take you out to dinner and stay the night while drinking wine and having sex until the wee hours of the morning but my hemorrhoids are flaring up again."

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Posted

Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Doing Anything For Valentine's Day

10. I took 2 Prozac in addition to my ex-lax. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel pretty good about it.

9. "I'd like to take you out to dinner and stay the night while drinking wine and having sex until the wee hours of the morning but my hemorrhoids are flaring up again."

8. "Since you say flowers are a waste of money and candy makes you fat, how 'bout we go through McDonald's drive-thru and come home and sit on our fat butts and watch the Olympics?"

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Posted

Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Doing Anything For Valentine's Day

10. I took 2 Prozac in addition to my ex-lax. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel pretty good about it.

9. "I'd like to take you out to dinner and stay the night while drinking wine and having sex until the wee hours of the morning but my hemorrhoids are flaring up again."

8. "Since you say flowers are a waste of money and candy makes you fat, how 'bout we go through McDonald's drive-thru and come home and sit on our fat butts and watch the Olympics?"

7. "Too dangerous to go out due to the blizzard"

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Posted

Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Doing Anything For Valentine's Day

10. I took 2 Prozac in addition to my ex-lax. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel pretty good about it.

9. "I'd like to take you out to dinner and stay the night while drinking wine and having sex until the wee hours of the morning but my hemorrhoids are flaring up again."

8. "Since you say flowers are a waste of money and candy makes you fat, how 'bout we go through McDonald's drive-thru and come home and sit on our fat butts and watch the Olympics?"

7. "Too dangerous to go out due to the blizzard"

6. You give her flowers every Friday!

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Posted

Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Doing Anything For Valentine's Day

10. I took 2 Prozac in addition to my ex-lax. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel pretty good about it.

9. "I'd like to take you out to dinner and stay the night while drinking wine and having sex until the wee hours of the morning but my hemorrhoids are flaring up again."

8. "Since you say flowers are a waste of money and candy makes you fat, how 'bout we go through McDonald's drive-thru and come home and sit on our fat butts and watch the Olympics?"

7. "Too dangerous to go out due to the blizzard"

6. You give her flowers every Friday!

5. "Sorry, no getting the car, no going out. I don't go anywhere near a garage on St. Valentine's Day!"

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Posted

Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Doing Anything For Valentine's Day

10. I took 2 Prozac in addition to my ex-lax. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel pretty good about it.

9. "I'd like to take you out to dinner and stay the night while drinking wine and having sex until the wee hours of the morning but my hemorrhoids are flaring up again."

8. "Since you say flowers are a waste of money and candy makes you fat, how 'bout we go through McDonald's drive-thru and come home and sit on our fat butts and watch the Olympics?"

7. "Too dangerous to go out due to the blizzard"

6. You give her flowers every Friday!

5. "Sorry, no getting the car, no going out. I don't go anywhere near a garage on St. Valentine's Day!"

4. Places are packed, guess we're stayin in.

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Posted

Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Doing Anything For Valentine's Day

10. I took 2 Prozac in addition to my ex-lax. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel pretty good about it.

9. "I'd like to take you out to dinner and stay the night while drinking wine and having sex until the wee hours of the morning but my hemorrhoids are flaring up again."

8. "Since you say flowers are a waste of money and candy makes you fat, how 'bout we go through McDonald's drive-thru and come home and sit on our fat butts and watch the Olympics?"

7. "Too dangerous to go out due to the blizzard"

6. You give her flowers every Friday!

5. "Sorry, no getting the car, no going out. I don't go anywhere near a garage on St. Valentine's Day!"

4. Places are packed, guess we're stayin in.

3. Well, if you really loved me, you'd SHUT THE F*** UP ABOUT IT ALREADY!!

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Posted

Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Doing Anything For Valentine's Day

10. I took 2 Prozac in addition to my ex-lax. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel pretty good about it.

9. "I'd like to take you out to dinner and stay the night while drinking wine and having sex until the wee hours of the morning but my hemorrhoids are flaring up again."

8. "Since you say flowers are a waste of money and candy makes you fat, how 'bout we go through McDonald's drive-thru and come home and sit on our fat butts and watch the Olympics?"

7. "Too dangerous to go out due to the blizzard"

6. You give her flowers every Friday!

5. "Sorry, no getting the car, no going out. I don't go anywhere near a garage on St. Valentine's Day!"

4. Places are packed, guess we're stayin in.

3. Well, if you really loved me, you'd SHUT THE F*** UP ABOUT IT ALREADY!!

2. "You've barely touched the candy I gave you last year!"

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Posted

Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Doing Anything For Valentine's Day

10. I took 2 Prozac in addition to my ex-lax. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel pretty good about it.

9. "I'd like to take you out to dinner and stay the night while drinking wine and having sex until the wee hours of the morning but my hemorrhoids are flaring up again."

8. "Since you say flowers are a waste of money and candy makes you fat, how 'bout we go through McDonald's drive-thru and come home and sit on our fat butts and watch the Olympics?"

7. "Too dangerous to go out due to the blizzard"

6. You give her flowers every Friday!

5. "Sorry, no getting the car, no going out. I don't go anywhere near a garage on St. Valentine's Day!"

4. Places are packed, guess we're stayin in.

3. Well, if you really loved me, you'd SHUT THE F*** UP ABOUT IT ALREADY!!

2. "You've barely touched the candy I gave you last year!"

1. I think I caught herpes from that prostitute last week.

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Top Ten Things You've Learned By Watching The Winter Olympics This Year

10. Siberia isn't the frozen wasteland everyone is led to believe it is.

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Top Ten Things You've Learned By Watching The Winter Olympics This Year

10. Siberia isn't the frozen wasteland everyone is led to believe it is.

9. It was nice not having to listen to Bob Costas for a while.

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Posted

Top Ten Things You've Learned By Watching The Winter Olympics This Year

10. Siberia isn't the frozen wasteland everyone is led to believe it is.

9. It was nice not having to listen to Bob Costas for a while.

8. Americans suck at EVERYTHING!

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Posted

Top Ten Things You've Learned By Watching The Winter Olympics This Year

10. Siberia isn't the frozen wasteland everyone is led to believe it is.

9. It was nice not having to listen to Bob Costas for a while.

8. Americans suck at EVERYTHING!

7. The Winter Olympics should be held in January not February.

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Posted

Top Ten Things You've Learned By Watching The Winter Olympics This Year

10. Siberia isn't the frozen wasteland everyone is led to believe it is.

9. It was nice not having to listen to Bob Costas for a while.

8. Americans suck at EVERYTHING!

7. The Winter Olympics should be held in January not February.

6. Brazilians and ice do not mix well

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Posted

Top Ten Things You've Learned By Watching The Winter Olympics This Year

10. Siberia isn't the frozen wasteland everyone is led to believe it is.

9. It was nice not having to listen to Bob Costas for a while.

8. Americans suck at EVERYTHING!

7. The Winter Olympics should be held in January not February.

6. Brazilians and ice do not mix well

5. Was wondering when the Gymnastics were going to be on...and was told "Um Laurie that's the summer Olympics... :P

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Posted

Top Ten Things You've Learned By Watching The Winter Olympics This Year

10. Siberia isn't the frozen wasteland everyone is led to believe it is.

9. It was nice not having to listen to Bob Costas for a while.

8. Americans suck at EVERYTHING!

7. The Winter Olympics should be held in January not February.

6. Brazilians and ice do not mix well

5. Was wondering when the Gymnastics were going to be on...and was told "Um Laurie that's the summer Olympics...

4. It Continually sucks trying to watch the Olympics on tv and not find out the results beforehand!

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Posted

Top Ten Things You've Learned By Watching The Winter Olympics This Year

10. Siberia isn't the frozen wasteland everyone is led to believe it is.

9. It was nice not having to listen to Bob Costas for a while.

8. Americans suck at EVERYTHING!

7. The Winter Olympics should be held in January not February.

6. Brazilians and ice do not mix well

5. Was wondering when the Gymnastics were going to be on...and was told "Um Laurie that's the summer Olympics...

4. It Continually sucks trying to watch the Olympics on tv and not find out the results beforehand!

3. Hopefully, the commercials run during the Olympics will stop now too.

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Posted

Top Ten Things You've Learned By Watching The Winter Olympics This Year

10. Siberia isn't the frozen wasteland everyone is led to believe it is.

9. It was nice not having to listen to Bob Costas for a while.

8. Americans suck at EVERYTHING!

7. The Winter Olympics should be held in January not February.

6. Brazilians and ice do not mix well

5. Was wondering when the Gymnastics were going to be on...and was told "Um Laurie that's the summer Olympics...

4. It Continually sucks trying to watch the Olympics on tv and not find out the results beforehand!

3. Hopefully, the commercials run during the Olympics will stop now too.

2. If there's no cool story to go along with a particular event, NBC will just make sh*t up.

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Posted

Top Ten Things You've Learned By Watching The Winter Olympics This Year

10. Siberia isn't the frozen wasteland everyone is led to believe it is.

9. It was nice not having to listen to Bob Costas for a while.

8. Americans suck at EVERYTHING!

7. The Winter Olympics should be held in January not February.

6. Brazilians and ice do not mix well

5. Was wondering when the Gymnastics were going to be on...and was told "Um Laurie that's the summer Olympics...

4. It Continually sucks trying to watch the Olympics on tv and not find out the results beforehand!

3. Hopefully, the commercials run during the Olympics will stop now too.

2. If there's no cool story to go along with a particular event, NBC will just make sh*t up.

1. Don't drink the brown water!

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Top Ten Questionable Events For 2014

10. Bieber Fever II

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Posted

Top Ten Questionable Events For 2014

10. Bieber Fever II

9. The Federal Government will take pot off the controlled substance list and let the states decide.

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