MindCrime Posted May 17, 2013 Report Share Posted May 17, 2013 Top Ten ways to tell your first date isn't going well. 10. She looks at you and begins screaming "Bobo lives! Bobo lives!" 9. She orders a steak and a pair of running shoes. 8. You accidentally wipe your mouth with the napkin absorbed in chloroform that was intended for her. 7. She updates her Facebook status to "Bored to death." 6. She calls her husband during the entree. 5. Her ankle bracelet goes off because she's violating her probation. (True story) 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2013 Top Ten ways to tell your first date isn't going well. 10. She looks at you and begins screaming "Bobo lives! Bobo lives!" 9. She orders a steak and a pair of running shoes. 8. You accidentally wipe your mouth with the napkin absorbed in chloroform that was intended for her. 7. She updates her Facebook status to "Bored to death." 6. She calls her husband during the entree. 5. Her ankle bracelet goes off because she's violating her probation. (True story) 4. The effect of the Viagra wears off really, really quick! 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted May 17, 2013 Report Share Posted May 17, 2013 Top Ten ways to tell your first date isn't going well. 10. She looks at you and begins screaming "Bobo lives! Bobo lives!" 9. She orders a steak and a pair of running shoes. 8. You accidentally wipe your mouth with the napkin absorbed in chloroform that was intended for her. 7. She updates her Facebook status to "Bored to death." 6. She calls her husband during the entree. 5. Her ankle bracelet goes off because she's violating her probation. (True story) 4. The effect of the Viagra wears off really, really quick! 3. She rubs the bus-boy's crotch after you ask her if she could be so kind as to not kiss him anymore. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted May 25, 2013 Report Share Posted May 25, 2013 (edited) Top Ten ways to tell your first date isn't going well. 10. She looks at you and begins screaming "Bobo lives! Bobo lives!" 9. She orders a steak and a pair of running shoes. 8. You accidentally wipe your mouth with the napkin absorbed in chloroform that was intended for her. 7. She updates her Facebook status to "Bored to death." 6. She calls her husband during the entree. 5. Her ankle bracelet goes off because she's violating her probation. (True story) 4. The effect of the Viagra wears off really, really quick! 3. She rubs the bus-boy's crotch after you ask her if she could be so kind as to not kiss him anymore. 2. That awkward dinner silence is approaching 25 minutes. 1. Edited May 25, 2013 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 Top Ten ways to tell your first date isn't going well. 10. She looks at you and begins screaming "Bobo lives! Bobo lives!" 9. She orders a steak and a pair of running shoes. 8. You accidentally wipe your mouth with the napkin absorbed in chloroform that was intended for her. 7. She updates her Facebook status to "Bored to death." 6. She calls her husband during the entree. 5. Her ankle bracelet goes off because she's violating her probation. (True story) 4. The effect of the Viagra wears off really, really quick! 3. She rubs the bus-boy's crotch after you ask her if she could be so kind as to not kiss him anymore. 2. That awkward dinner silence is approaching 25 minutes. 1. She shows you her tickets to tonight's Nickelback concert. ================================================ Top Ten Ways To Escape The Clutches of a Super-Villain 10. Throw an empty flash drive into a pit of quicksand. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluesboy Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 Top Ten Ways To Escape The Clutchest of a Super-Villain 10. Throw an empty flash drive into a pit of quicksand. 9. Kick him in the crotch ala Butch Cassidy. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 Top Ten Ways To Escape The Clutches of a Super-Villain 10. Throw an empty flash drive into a pit of quicksand. 9. Kick him in the crotch ala Butch Cassidy. 8. Tell him you know where Superman lives. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zepfan Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 Top Ten Ways To Escape The Clutches of a Super-Villain 10. Throw an empty flash drive into a pit of quicksand. 9. Kick him in the crotch ala Butch Cassidy. 8. Tell him you know where Superman lives. 7. Tell him "I feel the good in you. I will not fight you father." 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 Top Ten Ways To Escape The Clutches of a Super-Villain 10. Throw an empty flash drive into a pit of quicksand. 9. Kick him in the crotch ala Butch Cassidy. 8. Tell him you know where Superman lives. 7. Tell him "I feel the good in you. I will not fight you father." 6. Tell him his solo career is even worse than when he was the lead singer of Genesis and let him ponder that with hurt feelings while running away before he starts singing. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 Top Ten Ways To Escape The Clutches of a Super-Villain 10. Throw an empty flash drive into a pit of quicksand. 9. Kick him in the crotch ala Butch Cassidy. 8. Tell him you know where Superman lives. 7. Tell him "I feel the good in you. I will not fight you father." 6. Tell him his solo career is even worse than when he was the lead singer of Genesis and let him ponder that with hurt feelings while running away before he starts singing. 5. Continue to attend rehab and have that cast removed. Oh, "Clutches!" 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted June 10, 2013 Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 Top Ten Ways To Escape The Clutches of a Super-Villain 10. Throw an empty flash drive into a pit of quicksand. 9. Kick him in the crotch ala Butch Cassidy. 8. Tell him you know where Superman lives. 7. Tell him "I feel the good in you. I will not fight you father." 6. Tell him his solo career is even worse than when he was the lead singer of Genesis and let him ponder that with hurt feelings while running away before he starts singing. 5. Continue to attend rehab and have that cast removed. Oh, "Clutches!" 4. Blow in his ear and say "I always knew you loved me!" 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2013 Top Ten Ways To Escape The Clutches of a Super-Villain 10. Throw an empty flash drive into a pit of quicksand. 9. Kick him in the crotch ala Butch Cassidy. 8. Tell him you know where Superman lives. 7. Tell him "I feel the good in you. I will not fight you father." 6. Tell him his solo career is even worse than when he was the lead singer of Genesis and let him ponder that with hurt feelings while running away before he starts singing. 5. Continue to attend rehab and have that cast removed. Oh, "Clutches!" 4. Blow in his ear and say "I always knew you loved me!" 3. Dress like Wonder Woman and conveniently "drop" the magic lasso. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phil Posted June 12, 2013 Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 Top Ten Ways To Escape The Clutches of a Super-Villain 10. Throw an empty flash drive into a pit of quicksand. 9. Kick him in the crotch ala Butch Cassidy. 8. Tell him you know where Superman lives. 7. Tell him "I feel the good in you. I will not fight you father." 6. Tell him his solo career is even worse than when he was the lead singer of Genesis and let him ponder that with hurt feelings while running away before he starts singing. 5. Continue to attend rehab and have that cast removed. Oh, "Clutches!" 4. Blow in his ear and say "I always knew you loved me!" 3. Dress like Wonder Woman and conveniently "drop" the magic lasso. 2. Use your Super Charm, Sailor. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted June 12, 2013 Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 Top Ten Ways To Escape The Clutches of a Super-Villain 10. Throw an empty flash drive into a pit of quicksand. 9. Kick him in the crotch ala Butch Cassidy. 8. Tell him you know where Superman lives. 7. Tell him "I feel the good in you. I will not fight you father." 6. Tell him his solo career is even worse than when he was the lead singer of Genesis and let him ponder that with hurt feelings while running away before he starts singing. 5. Continue to attend rehab and have that cast removed. Oh, "Clutches!" 4. Blow in his ear and say "I always knew you loved me!" 3. Dress like Wonder Woman and conveniently "drop" the magic lasso. 2. Use your Super Charm, Sailor. 1. Tear up the comic book. The Top Ten Ways To Cool-Off In The Summer 10-Go pant-less. 9- 8- 7- 6- 5- 4- 3- 2- 1- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted June 12, 2013 Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 The Top Ten Ways To Cool-Off In The Summer 10-Go pant-less. 9-Keep a 6 pack of ice cold beer in your pants, that is if you decide not to follow #10. 8- 7- 6- 5- 4- 3- 2- 1- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberjudge Posted June 12, 2013 Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 The Top Ten Ways To Cool-Off In The Summer 10-Go pant-less. 9-Keep a 6 pack of ice cold beer in your pants, that is if you decide not to follow #10. 8-Air-conditioned movie theatre (but again, DO NOT FOLLOW #10) 7- 6- 5- 4- 3- 2- 1- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted June 12, 2013 Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 The Top Ten Ways To Cool-Off In The Summer 10-Go pant-less. 9-Keep a 6 pack of ice cold beer in your pants, that is if you decide not to follow #10. 8-Air-conditioned movie theatre (but again, DO NOT FOLLOW #10) 7- Pant (Works for dogs, don't it?) 6- 5- 4- 3- 2- 1- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted June 12, 2013 Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 The Top Ten Ways To Cool-Off In The Summer 10-Go pant-less. 9-Keep a 6 pack of ice cold beer in your pants, that is if you decide not to follow #10. 8-Air-conditioned movie theatre (but again, DO NOT FOLLOW #10) 7- Pant (Works for dogs, don't it?) 6- Head to the South Pole... pant-less! 5- 4- 3- 2- 1- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted June 12, 2013 Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 The Top Ten Ways To Cool-Off In The Summer 10-Go pant-less. 9-Keep a 6 pack of ice cold beer in your pants, that is if you decide not to follow #10. 8-Air-conditioned movie theatre (but again, DO NOT FOLLOW #10) 7- Pant (Works for dogs, don't it?) 6- Head to the South Pole... pant-less! 5- Go commando, to allow more air to flow. (Do not follow #10) 4- 3- 2- 1- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zepfan Posted June 12, 2013 Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 The Top Ten Ways To Cool-Off In The Summer 10-Go pant-less. 9-Keep a 6 pack of ice cold beer in your pants, that is if you decide not to follow #10. 8-Air-conditioned movie theatre (but again, DO NOT FOLLOW #10) 7- Pant (Works for dogs, don't it?) 6- Head to the South Pole... pant-less! 5- Go commando, to allow more air to flow. (Do not follow #10) 4- Follow #10 then jump in the pool. 3- 2- 1- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted June 13, 2013 Report Share Posted June 13, 2013 The Top Ten Ways To Cool-Off In The Summer 10-Go pant-less. 9-Keep a 6 pack of ice cold beer in your pants, that is if you decide not to follow #10. 8-Air-conditioned movie theatre (but again, DO NOT FOLLOW #10) 7- Pant (Works for dogs, don't it?) 6- Head to the South Pole... pant-less! 5- Go commando, to allow more air to flow. (Do not follow #10) 4- Follow #10 then jump in the pool. 3- Sip iced coffee while following #10. 2- 1- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted June 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2013 The Top Ten Ways To Cool-Off In The Summer 10-Go pant-less. 9-Keep a 6 pack of ice cold beer in your pants, that is if you decide not to follow #10. 8-Air-conditioned movie theatre (but again, DO NOT FOLLOW #10) 7- Pant (Works for dogs, don't it?) 6- Head to the South Pole... pant-less! 5- Go commando, to allow more air to flow. (Do not follow #10) 4- Follow #10 then jump in the pool. 3- Sip iced coffee while following #10. 2- Lie in a hammock in the shade (of course, while wearing no pants). 1- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted June 13, 2013 Report Share Posted June 13, 2013 The Top Ten Ways To Cool-Off In The Summer 10-Go pant-less. 9-Keep a 6 pack of ice cold beer in your pants, that is if you decide not to follow #10. 8-Air-conditioned movie theatre (but again, DO NOT FOLLOW #10) 7- Pant (Works for dogs, don't it?) 6- Head to the South Pole... pant-less! 5- Go commando, to allow more air to flow. (Do not follow #10) 4- Follow #10 then jump in the pool. 3- Sip iced coffee while following #10. 2- Lie in a hammock in the shade (of course, while wearing no pants). 1- Have a picnic indoors instead, "Nope Ants" cant get your food. Top 10 Things You Would Change if You Were Commissioner of Major League Baseball 10. Accused steroid users, are required to do 100 pushups and then take a bong hit before going to bat. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted June 13, 2013 Report Share Posted June 13, 2013 Top 10 Things You Would Change if You Were Commissioner of Major League Baseball 10. Accused steroid users, are required to do 100 pushups and then take a bong hit before going to bat. 9. As a nod to the success of MMA, have scantily clad young ladies walk the base paths holding cards over their heads denoting the inning. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluesboy Posted June 14, 2013 Report Share Posted June 14, 2013 Top 10 Things You Would Change if You Were Commissioner of Major League Baseball 10. Accused steroid users, are required to do 100 pushups and then take a bong hit before going to bat. 9. As a nod to the success of MMA, have scantily clad young ladies walk the base paths holding cards over their heads denoting the inning. 8. Use the electronic strike zone to call balls and strikes (like cyclops in tennis) and use the home plate umpire just like the other 3. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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