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Blue Fish

Are there Really Dragons?

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Are there Really Dragons?

Are there really dragons flying in the sky,

bring all the cyber info to you and I?

Are there really Pixes stealing one of your socks,

or maybe they need them to keep warm all the rocks?

Maybe there are blue moons rising high up above

and no one ever sees them except if there in love?

Are all the knights really there hiding in the trees?

maybe their stuck all over with branches and leaves.

All these and many more may well be true

but nothing oh nothing in this world

is as strange as my love for you.

Edited by Guest
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In the past I have complimented your poetry, even suggested you have a flair for it. Assuming this is the case, I will look on the bright side and assume that you are capitalising on the recent piss-taking bandwagon which supplies deliberately crap poetry, purely to generate a lengthy and entertaining response. :thumbsup: I'm not sure that this trend enhances the credibility of the Creative Writing thread a great deal, but at least encourages all of us to employ a more critical eye.

This "poem" is infantile, whimsical piffle, which regrettably lacks the charm often to be found in the work of genuine infants, (which you are not). Despite being only twelve short lines long, it is littered with several very basic grammatical errors.

no one ever sees them except if there in love?

maybe their stuck all over with branches and leaves.

What's so bloody hard about "they're", as an abbreviation for "they are"?

Are there really dragons flying in the sky,

bring all the cyber info to you and I?

...strictly speaking should be "you and me", though charitably, one could justify a little poetic licence to enable the rhyme with "sky". But is such licence worth it, merely to justify imagery which is neither poetic, evocative nor amusing?

The main problem, however, is that this poem has absolutely nothing to say, sheds no insight into anything at all: the workings of your mind, the human condition, the supposed "strangeness" of your love.

Of course, there is a place for "throwaway" verse, which need not be profound, insightful or particularly "clever". It still needs to be done well, though.

You can do a lot better than this, if your previous "work" is any evidence. Recently,you keep retreading the same ground, to ever-decreasing purpose. Maybe you have succumbed to the mindset that a blandly uncritical audience will accept any old nonsense, or, (as I suggested earlier), you are satirising that same audience in the same way that others have recently. Either way is a blind alley, and a bit of a pointless waste of whatever talent you have.

This critique attempted to employ "the sandwich method" of appraisal, as recommended by Steel2Velvet. I think I botched it, though. :blush:

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Besides the really, really shocking grammar/spelling - this one is not one of your best at all. Feels like you are overthinking something or not really putting enough thought into it, either way, I'd agree with your decision :)

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