TheLizard Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 This was very stream-of-conciousness, and full of more anger than I normally insert into my writing... I am completely uninterested In the ******* that goes down In that abandoned ghost town Of your mind If you search long and hard You might find Someone more kind Than I Who cares about your trivial notions Of players that starred In a fantasy No A comedy And yet A tragedy This portion of life This stain on the tracks Time to pass it by You hang on to the strife Carry that weight on your back I’m long gone already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viaene Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 The anger in the words and spaces really manages to point out the essence of the meaning (imo) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 "In that abandoned ghost town of your mind" I was impressed with that line. Nice writing, Tim! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 I agree...very deep lines in this poem...very good... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcM Posted May 31, 2008 Report Share Posted May 31, 2008 I can totally see you reading this on "Showtime At The Apollo" in the angry, urban poet style. I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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