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Congratulations


murdocking

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He calls his midnight by its name

He wants it so, he won’t feel pain

He’s crying on the inside, he’s ashamed.

He’s begging in the corner of her eyes

It makes me wonder if its lies

That brings him coming back for more.

Tonight there lays a secret meant for two

He needs to know he needs a clue

For what is hiding at the end

He finds it hard to find her in the crowd

He shouts her name, he shouts it loud

But he’s defenceless in the end.

Now if you think he’s crying for the patients

Who all died of complications

Of their hearts in operations

You’d be wrong

He’s crying because they beat his expectations

She survived past explanations

And arrived with medications

Congratulations

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well yeah, thats a song that i wrote, i also wrote a chorus for it but didnt post it bcuz it didnt really fit well with the rest of it. but yeah. well anyway if u dont like it just say so,

you learn from criticism ;)

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I really really love the first two verses. I love the unique way you use words... This is a very important trait in a songwriter - to find new ways of saying something.

The third verse threw me. It doesn't seem to go with the rest somehow, it seems sort of like it was thrown in at the last minute to fill space... :crazy:

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thanks everybody:D i really apprectiate everything you guys have said, it was nice meeting all of you guys, and yeah its good i didnt decide to smarten up the language i use ;).

oh and also about the writing, i think this is one of my best, so if i post some other song or something dont expect it to be as good ;)

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