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Dear Edna,


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Here's the thread where you lovelorn , overweight , underweight , genius or slightly retarded , or perhaps just downright silly people can find the answers you've been looking for ! Trouble with the kids ? The Ex ? The Spouse ? The Taxman ? Give her a try - Dear Edna knows all and is very wise !

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Dear Edna ,

My wife claims that she enjoys giving my aching legs a rub , once -in-a-while, and does so gladly for 30 minutes or more . However , she hints that I should do the same ; though , honestly , I bore easily , and can't go on for more than a few minutes or so . She thinks this is unfair . What should I do ?

Troubled in Tokyo

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Dear Edna,

People pressurize me into doing things I don't want to do. As soon as I log on, my PT folder starts flashing and strange men tell me to do this and that. My mother doesn't leave me alone, my girlfriend is nagging and the university claims I didn't pay my accommodation fees. Do you have any advice for me?

Bothered in Britain

:grin: Fun!

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Instead of just massaging one part of the body, put on a blindfold, lather up your hands with scented mineral oil, then...imagine that you're Michelangelo, sculpting your beloved out of a mass of malleable clay. Now what kind of music would be appropriate? Why, Ravel's "Bolero," of course! If all goes as expected, neither of you will be get bored, though the neighbors might complain about the noise! :jester:

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"Are you talkin' to ME?" (I fear a "Travis Bickle" response to these stressors is imminent.) So...Beat The Drum!

I still hear the snares in the square

Colours ablaze in the evening

The air was still down the stormy hills

It's good to be young and daring

She was the pride of the summer that year

She was my sweetheart, my lady

We walked to Black Rock and stopped by the Loch

It's good to be young and daring

[Chorus]

Beat the drum, Beat the drum

Like a heartbeat, Lonely and Strong

Beat the Drum

Across the bay I can still hear the strains

The two step loud and blaring

We walked hand and hand to the beat of the band

It's good to be young and daring

I still hear the snares in the square

Colours ablaze in the evening

She was the pride of the summer that year

It's good to be young and daring

(Check out a Great Big Sea concert ASAP.) :guitar:

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Kevin!!!!!!!! :doh: :doh:

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Dear Kevin,

my boyfriend says that we should buy a big ham for Christmas but I was dreaming of a trip to Paris (we live in Spain). The price would be the same. My boyfriend says it would be wiser to buy a good ham as it has some sort of stuff that lowers cholesterol but I think he wants to eat ham while he watchs football on tv. He doesn´t care for Louvre or Orangerie.

I´m a mess now... help me, Kevin.

Doubtfull at heart

Thank you!!

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EDNA ! :doh: You must use your unfailling powers to give us the answers to our queries , ; not those of your own ... ooohhhhhh !!!!?!?!?! ( more ghostly and otherworldly soundeffects here )

Pardon - Madame Edna is experiencing mental and technical difficulties presently - please check back in ... Whoooooooooooaaaaaa !

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Dear Troubled in Tokyo,

buy your wife a leg of good ham. She´ll be busy with it and will forget about your leg... :cool:

Dear Bothered in Britain,

get yourself a new computer and turn it on while you sing "Get Off Of My Cloud"... Good luck! :bow:

Dear Neredowell in Nara,

tell your mom you love her but you can´t afford the telephone bills. Send her a postcard once in a while. It will be worth it.

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Dear Edna ,

I'm on a messageboard where nearly 1/2 of the members are already moderators . Everyone is usually nice , but it sometimes feels like being in a 'cop bar' ( no offence Marc) , where you may get busted at any minute . Is this a good thing ?

Termoil in Tokyo

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Dear Edna,

I have this overwhelming desire to set loose a cage full of rats in my supervisors van because she is such a *****. I'm pretty sure she will collapse and die from a heart attack. She is terrified of everything. Even cats because they purr :doh: :laughing:

Please tell me how to control this crazy desire. She is getting rather suspicious of my manic laughter whenever I look at her.

Please help me!!! I don't want to go to jail for being the cause of her demise.

(Will be) On the lam in Oregon

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Dear Edna,

I really, really badly need a woman. I don't think I can survive another week without a good woman. I feel so sick, like someone who hasn't eaten in weeks. I need a woman who can take the heat. I never could cook and I'm starved.

How do I fix this? Will I be alone and fending for myself forever?

Worried in Winnipeg

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Ray, I´m on the phone with the fortune teller I work with. :shades:

He says: there´s a woman, she´s in touch with lots of people. You must go out, maybe take a trip cause she doesn´t live near your place. He also says that you can´t stay in your room drinking beer all the time, you must make a move.

:bow:

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:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Of course, my friend!! [spoilerq:1]Here you have...[/spoilerq]

[spoilera:1]ngredients:

6 ounces of unsweetened chololate

6 ounces (3/4 cup) of Marijuana butter

4 eggs

1 tablespoonful of vanilla

1/2 teaspoon of salt

2 1/2 cups of honey

4 cups of flour

3 tablespoons of Jack Daniels (optional)

Greased 9x12 baking dish or pan

Melt chocolate in a double-boiler saucepan, add the weed butter and honey, mix well, add eggs and mix again, add salt and vanilla, mix again, add flour, mix again. Pour into pan. Bake 35 minutes at 375 degrees. Remove from oven. Allow 1 hour to cool and set before cutting. Cut into 2 inch squares and place in gallon sized ziploc bag for storage or freezing.

For the perfect finish to a special dinner or a special evening try these gourmet honey weed brownies with a rich, complex flavour and velvety texture guaranteed to please the most discerning.

For variety with the weed brownies try adding 3 tablespoons of Jack Daniels, wild turkey, crown royal, or cognac to enrich the flavour; or 1 1/2 cups of cherry halves and 2 tablespoons of brandy; or drops of mint extract in batter to taste; or 2 tablespoons of instant coffee crystals dissolved in 1 tablespoonful of hot water.

Serve with rich coffee, espresso, port or cabernet.

[/spoilera]

Enjoy and God bless you!! :bow: :bow: :bow:

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