blind-fitter Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 Mental Note To Self To make one's meaning clearly understood, Best stick to words of few syllables. To capture an audience; Be positive! And strong! (Few are those who appreciate verse that is miserable) I heard of a guy whose suicide note Was dressed in metaphor, with wording so oblique That by the time they figured it out, The poor f%^*er had been dead for a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Seeker Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 I love the second verse. I like the first one too, but the second one made me grin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 The first verse reminds me of Shel Silverstein, which is good (to me). The second is great, too. Sounds like a good bonus/hidden track on an album. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted November 4, 2007 Report Share Posted November 4, 2007 Any verse that rhymes "syllables" with "miserable" fits into my book! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky Posted November 4, 2007 Report Share Posted November 4, 2007 Funny, b-f, I was reminded of Silverstein as well. I don't know about you, but, for me, that is a high compliment. Besides the fact it's one of many things you've written that I understand! That's a reflection not on your writing, but probably my education!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 Lesson learned: Never write a note to yourself . . . Good job, m'boyee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 Interesting...I favor the second also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted November 15, 2007 Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 Awesome piece! Made me smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted November 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 Ta, rayzor. Have you read its companion piece, "To Die Now, Or Later"? If so, what d'you make of it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted November 15, 2007 Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 I did read that piece before I disappeared. I thought I had commented already, but I guess I hadn't I thought the first part was more of a downer, but very well put together. I put more in the appropriate thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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