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johnnyguitar

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Everything posted by johnnyguitar

  1. Did you hear about the suicidal ice-cream salesman? He covered his head with chocolate sauce and then sprinkled ground almonds into his hair....yes, he topped himself.
  2. I am a good caring family man...I have three great boys who are a credit to their parents, are honest, hardworking and good...and not a single one of them believes in....well, let's not go there. They are good boys and they love their fellow man, because that's the right thing to do, they don't need god to tell 'em why...let's leave it at that.
  3. Sorry? What happened to them then? Is it just me? I don't get this.
  4. Well, on the basis of that reply, not a great deal about rational thought...and that last bit about 'no purpose' requiring more faith is just so asinine, I wont dignify it with a response. JMHO
  5. I think this may be the problem...it is not an intelligent, experienced or 'thought out' relationship. It is a passion, with no more substance than a passion for the team jock or for Justin Timberlake...I find the whole discussion dismally sad. I still find it puzzling that, otherwise intelligent people, believe in supernatural powers, god, ghosts, afterlife etc. However, I have discovered that ridicule just hardens their perspective...so, now I just sit, perplexed and saddened at their idiocy and incapablity to accept that 'this is it'...nature is wonderful, life is what happens....and then we are gone. Get used to it. JMHO
  6. An old Italian man is sad because he wants to plant his tomatoes in the yard but it is baked hard by the sun and he is too old and frail to work the soil. He writes to his only son, Luigi, who is a mafioso hit man in gaol for a long stretch. 'Dear Son, Life is hard here without your young strong arms to help me. I want to plant my tomatoes but I'm not fit enough to dig the yard. I don't know what I will do. Perhaps I will ask in the village for some help.' Two days later he got a reply. 'Dear Dad, Whatever you do, don't dig in the yard, that's where I buried the bodies. Your Everloving Son Luigi The next day the police arrived and dug up the whole yard and garden. Finding nothing they apologised to the old man and left. The next day he got another letter from his son. 'Plant your tomatoes now Dad, that was the best I could do from in here. Love Luigi'
  7. Top clip from seminal BBC series...now long gone. This has got to be in my top ten.... Life transforming.
  8. A good song if you are blaming the other person for their inability to cope with your moody inabilty to converse....a mean trick if it is you who are confused and off screwing someone else (believe me)....try Wayne County's classic......look it up for yourself. If, however, you are in the classic position of being 'Torn Between Two Lovers' do not, on any account use the song of the same name...it does not work...believe me, I know. Try something more 'post modern' such as.... Either way...they'll be confused and you can make your getaway in a smokescreen of sensitive insensitivity....
  9. As I have no real knowledge of either (although a vague enjoyment of Rush Hour...who did that?) I reserve the right to make vacuous and sexist comments without prejudice. That joke would work either way round. (Ok, Crap either way...I know)
  10. "Old Man" Old man look at my life, I'm a lot like you were. Old man look at my life, I'm a lot like you were. Old man look at my life, Twenty four and there's so much more Live alone in a paradise That makes me think of two. Love lost, such a cost, Give me things that don't get lost. Like a coin that won't get tossed Rolling home to you. Old man take a look at my life I'm a lot like you I need someone to love me the whole day through Ah, one look in my eyes and you can tell that's true. Lullabies, look in your eyes, Run around the same old town. Doesn't mean that much to me To mean that much to you. I've been first and last Look at how the time goes past. But I'm all alone at last. Rolling home to you. Old man take a look at my life I'm a lot like you I need someone to love me the whole day through Ah, one look in my eyes and you can tell that's true. Old man look at my life, I'm a lot like you were. Old man look at my life, I'm a lot like you were.
  11. You've gotta run away with the piano...follow your heart. Me, I prefer girls, but, hey, it takes all sorts.
  12. Learned it on the whatnow? My son has learned Smells Like Teen Spirit on the cellery stick and is working up a good version of Stairway to Heaven on the Muller Rice tub...he's crap on the cornet.
  13. Apparently sexologists have finally determined that the 'Doggy' position is the most frequently used position adopted by married couples...this involves the husband sitting up and begging...and the wife rolling over and playing dead.
  14. Jane...I'd give her five....Belinda....I'd give her one.
  15. Wasn't it the 'Bbbbbbb...Bennie, Bennie....Bennie...Bennie Bbbbb...Bennie 'bits that did it...it was almost sad when you got to the end bit....a good example of a live version being ten times as good as the album.
  16. If you like Coldplay...then you're a twat...no, that doesn't work, errrm...you'd like twats...no, wait. Gimme some time on this...this is hard. If you like U2....err, help me out BF.
  17. I've sung this many times and it is definitely about heroin...also, Lee Mavers (the author of the song) is/was a notorious junkie... etc. Not very ambiguous. I was told that 'Secret Smile' by Semisonic is actually tremendously rude....but it doesn't sound it to me....anybody else heard that?
  18. Me neither.... How do you experiment?
  19. The closest thing to a new mad genius for a while...check out his other dubious stuff on You Tube...a French Johnathon Richman? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ0EDS0mhkE&mode=related&search= : )
  20. Wincey....I like 'wincey'...why did I miss wincey? ...a wincey bit bonkers....Yup, I like 'wincey'
  21. BF (that's Blue Fish not Blind Fitter)....whilst I support your right not to have to explain or reveal the reasons behind your eccentric choices....am I the only one to find you just a trifle, a tad, a smidgeon, une picolette, an iota, a whit, a tidlle....a soupcon....bonkers? Come to think of it...that goes for you too Fitter
  22. I was once mightily moved by a short story about an old couple that basically said that, even after 50 odd years together they both looked just the same to each other as when they had first met. This troubled me for years as both I and my partner became increasingly old and knackered and it was as plain on the nose on your face. I felt guilty that, for some reason, my wife was looking increasingly baggy, lined face and wobbly arsed. 'Jeez' I thought. 'There's something wrong with me, she looks like she's getting old and, for some reason, I'm noticing it....I must be a bad person.' And then I realised that I love that wobbly arse, I love those crinkly eyes and I love that wicked smile more than I ever loved her youthful beauty....so, maybe I get what the story was all about. They look different, but we love them more. ?
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