Top Ten New Years Resolutions...
01.
02.
03. To follow the man's example...cook less, clean less, watch more television.
04. To gain more weight, drink more alcohol and take up smoking again.
05. To start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
06. To wait on everyone else gaining weight, so I don't have to.
07. To again wait cause it sounds like the previous two resolutions.
08. To gain weight because I seriously need to
09. To gain weight, that way I know I've reached my goal...
10. Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.