Scott-Free
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Posts
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Posts posted by Scott-Free
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Mairi, I'm almost speechless..I simply love this song! I want to keep reading it over and over. You definitely have something great here.
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Great structure..I really like this!!
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Solitude -n- Guilt
beyond rescue point
like a burning tree surrounded by ashen forest
or of what was once
falling ashes-
like snowflakes
on this roof, our minds
thoughts so heavy-
sinking into scattered guilt
i could pick any out and write for days
but will not
tranfixed on nothing-
my roof grows layered in ash
thoughts so heavy
then nothing
full moon lit nights-eyes wide open-
i take it all in
searching for what was
lost in the shadows, it smells so familiar
but not a single memory-
of where i've stood
too many times to forget
and yet, there's nothing
Scott-Free
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This poem is similar to how i'd express my feelings on hope.I thought it eas great!! :rockon:Scott-Free
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Raw emotions,written with a honest heart! I loved it. I hope it was theraputic for you, or at least helped you vent.
:rockon:Scott-Free
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Beautifully written, nice work!!
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Beautifully written, Keep on writing, you're very talented!!
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Good eye for detail! I hope you at least read my poem :rockon:Scott-Free
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tears roll down my face
it's been so many years...
i'm sorry dad, but this life is just hurting too bad
all those years stoned face and cold...
that's how a man does his time to get through his bit
i'm finally out,i never cried
would you be mad now
that i shed a tear at your funeral
i'm sorry dad,but i can't act stoned face and cold anymore
i'll bring my own son to visit your grave someday
he'll know it's okay for a man to cry
it's okay to tell your son i love you
i guess i'll just be doing it differant than you
rest in peace
i love you
[This is a work in progress poem. Feedback much appreciated]
Scott-Free
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Mairi,This is very well structured and illustrates the emotion very well. I can relate to the poem and that feeling...I love it!! Can't wait to read more!! :rockon:Scott-Free
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When you see me laying beside myself-
Don't lay beside me
but take me up in your arms without any loss
Could you just hold me-
I need a warmer souls touch
Don't drift away-it's too easy
when you see me laying beside myself-
Don't lay beside me
'cause you know I'm dying inside
The only reminder I'm alive-
Is the pain of needing more
I awake everyday, but can't find my way out
My heads barely above water, and I feel just fine-
or I don't feel at all
Yeah, but I'm really just fine
If you could just hold me
I need a warmer souls touch
Don't drift away-It's too easy, much too easy
I can't promise to ever change
I can only be the person you love to hate
You've grown to distaste me
So take me, misplace me, or replace me-
I've grown preoccupied with me
We've all been through hard times at one point or another...I beleive we are stronger when we make it out the other side.This poem reflects a personal struggle I've gone through and demons I overcame.
Comments would be much appreciated THANKS
Scott-Free
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Mairi, I too didn't know you wrote poetry. This is a great poem. I felt every word and expression. Can't wait to read more of your work!
Scott-Free
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Thank's alot, that's been on my mind for some time, and I heard the song again last night, but couldn't remember the artist.Thank you!
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Looking for the artist and song title. A line from the song I remember is:"It seems to me that maybe, pretty much always means no."
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I follow these foot steps
Through the frigid crystal white
Many steps have left their mark
Some of these could be mine
From days past
A traveled path I trudge ahead
Shamed faces, regret
Unity only in wanting home
Wind so cold, my face it stings
Maybe this whole morning is colder for me
I awoke today, but my heart feels empty
Or, maybe we're all as empty as I am barely awake
Manotony has consumed me as of late
With this manotonous consumption of my days
It's taken a bit too much
These walls must be sick of me staring through them
Home is only a calender away
but today's barbed wire
winter white
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Today I'm alone-much too alone
A battle rages in my head
It's been so long-I almost forgot the sound of your knock
A battle rages in my head
Do I choose life or vice
I took the side that put you within reach
Now ready to give up the fight
My subconscience will soon grow quiet
A crimson bullet shoots through your amber haze
For a couple of seconds the world stands still
It feels like a lifetime
then you disappear within
Your memory rushes through me and the world feels new
I know those eyes in the mirror staring back
Forgotten friend-Forgotten friend
I'm by myself but I am not alone
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She is the summer rain
waits in it for you
you'll gladly feel soaked to the bone
eventually
She is the fog
waits in the distance for you
You'll walk through her
eventually
She is the sun
waits to see your shadow
you'll feel her rays
eventually
She is my dark blanket
a dormant depression
inevitably
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Your writing simply put, is beautiful.You were able to paint a picture in my head that is so much more than the amount of words on the page....GREAT WORK! FloydtheBarber28@aol.com
Passion
in Creative Writing
Posted
Beautifully written...I really liked this poem alot!